My answer, being yes

Pilot Mountain, elevation 5,084 feet, in the Shining Rock Wilderness area of Pisgah National Forest affords a nearly 360 degree view of my beloved Blue Ridge Mountains. When I think about Heaven, I think about this mountain.

View from the top of Pilot Mountain

The first time I climbed Pilot Mountain was with Kevin a week after our first date. It was a beautiful sunny spring day. I was left breathless once we reached the top. Mostly because of the amazing view, but also mostly because we had just spent an hour hiking straight up this mountain. It was on that day, at the top of that mountain with Kevin, that I heard God whisper to my heart "this one".

Flash forward to January 22, 2006. Kevin had asked the day before if I'd be interested in making the trek once again. Of course I said yes. That was our "spot". We left Charlotte that morning in the cold rain. The closer we got to the foothills, the more I began to rethink our hike. The rain hadn't let up and it was cold y'all! We stopped at a McDonald's in Forest City to use the restroom and get some food (don't judge). I went into the ladies bathroom and as I bent over to see if anyone was in the stall, I heard it. Riiiiip. The already torn jeans I had chosen to wear tore some more. Only this wasn't a small tear. The little rip at the top of one of the pockets turned my jeans into a denim replica of the Grand Canyon. I'm talking pocket to upper thigh. Fortunately I had a long sleeve shirt on under my sweatshirt so I was able to tie that around my waist so I wouldn't moon the other patrons. I came out of the bathroom, told Kevin what had happened, and said I was throwing in the towel on our trip. He insisted that we continue on and I pouted the rest of the way.

Once we made it to the trail head it was still drizzling and it was even chillier than it had been in Charlotte. We started the hike up the muddy mountainside and once we hit our stride I was thankful for the new built in air conditioner in my jeans. Once we reached the summit I was disappointed that the rain clouds blocked the view, but it was just nice to be there. After we rested from the hike up for a few minutes Kevin told me he really hadn't brought me to the top for the views. He held up his hand, which had a diamond ring midway down his pinkie, and said "I brought you up here for this". He then asked me to be his bride, and immediately after I said yes the rain stopped and the sun came out. Ok, it was still raining, but it sure felt like it did. It was a precious moment in my life. How fitting that he would propose marriage in the exact spot that my Father laid it on my heart that Kevin would one day be my husband?!

The last time we were on top of that mountain was just a couple weeks shy of our five year wedding anniversary while I was thirteen weeks pregnant with our third son. I hope to make that hike many more times, with our children (when they're much older and more sure-footed).

Looking Glass Rock from the top of Pilot mountain.

The other night

Tuesday evening was like any other day. We ate supper, put the boys down for the night, and then Kevin and I settled in to watch a movie. About thirty minutes into the movie I started feeling hard Braxton Hicks and Kevin mentioned it was too early for me to be feeling them that strong. The boys and I had spent a good chunk of the day outside so I figured I may just be a little dehydrated. Kevin got me a glass of water and after I finished it I knew that emptying my bladder (sorry, tmi) would relieve some of the pressure on my uterus. As soon as I stood up to go to the bathroom I felt a gush and once I was in the bathroom I saw it. Blood. Lots of it. Kevin called my mom to come over and I called my ob who sent me straight to the ER. The drive to the hospital was mostly silent. We both spent a lot of time in quiet prayer and I spent time inside my head and heart trying to prepare myself for what I knew was happening. The prayer on my heart was "you're the God of my sorrow, you're the God of my joy. Whether tonight is sorrowful or joyful, you're still my God". Once at the hospital we were joined by some very precious and steadfast people (one of which was my dad). They not only went to battle for our baby through prayer but also offered a wonderful distraction while we waited to be seen.

After what seemed like an eternity I was finally given a room where we just ended up waiting even longer for an ultrasound. Finally I was transported to the ultrasound tech who was very nice but very silent during the first fifteen minutes of the process (silence never seems like a good thing during times like these). Finally she zoomed in on what I had been looking for, a flicker. A sign of life. My baby's heartbeat. It was the same as it had been at my appointment the previous week, 162 bpm. Kevin cried and I cried even harder. She then let us take a few moments just to look at the baby and he/she was going to town in there, probably wondering why the heck mommy's heart was pounding so hard. One hurdle jumped successfully, but we still had to wait on radiology to look over the pictures and determine where the bleeding was coming from. I was rolled back to my cell room to wait another hour or so and I was still bleeding pretty heavily. I prayed a lot and made a bargain with the baby that I would fight if it would fight. Finally a doctor came in and told me that the baby  looked wonderful and after she checked me she said my cervix was tightly closed and not effaced. She asked me to follow up with my ob the next day because she still didn't know where the bleeding was coming from.

Kevin and I finally got home going on 3:00 and although I was exhausted it was so hard to sleep. I was anxious to speak to my doctor. Fortunately most of my fears were relieved by the news that morning. After having their ultrasound tech review my pictures from the night before she confirmed that the baby was excellent and measuring a week ahead of date. They did find a subchorionic hemorrhage (blood clot) that caused a small part of the placenta to tear away from my uterus. It is not uncommon and has a very small loss rate (1-3%) and should heal itself soon if I take it easy.

Once again many prayers were sent up for our little babe and once again God answered them with mercy. He assembled a team of friends around us to display his grace through prayer and support. He's blessed me with a brother who called out for prayer from friends. He's blessed me with a dad that stayed up way past his bedtime to wait on news and a mom who has selflessly and tirelessly taken care of my children and doing chores so that I could stay off of my feet. He's blessed me with a husband who has, once again, proven to be my rock and he's blessed us with another compassionate answer to prayer concerning this baby.

Yes I am....

  I'm new to blogging and I didn't really want my first post ever to be lengthy but that's just how it's gotta be this time. My original intent was to blog about life as a mama of two boys (one of which says some of the craziest things) but, as fate would have it, I got knocked up before my first post so I will now be blogging about life as a mama of two boys with a bun in ye 'ole oven.

  I need to backtrack to February for those of you still reading. I felt like God was laying something huge on my heart and I had recurring dreams about taking positive pregnancy tests. The morning after one of those dreams Jacob found one of the old positive tests we had saved when we found out we were pregnant with Judah (gross, I know, don't judge). I actually took two pregnancy tests in early March because my husband kept teasing me that I was knocked up, they were both negative. On the morning of March 12, Kevin opened a jar of peanut butter and that's all it took to send me running to hug the toilet. He insisted that I take just one more test but I already knew how it would turn out. The blank test quickly changed to a little pink plus sign. Kevin was thrilled, I was terrified. We wanted a third child but not this soon. We had just payed off the Jeep which we are rapidly outgrowing as it is. I had just lost all of my baby weight from Judah. We are still paying off my hospital bill from Judah's birth. Little man had just started sleeping twelve hours a night. I spent the day in a state of shock with all of these negative thoughts running through my head, Kevin spent the day reminding me what a blessing this was. My husband was right and by the end of the day I knew what a gift it was. We tried to conceive our second child for almost a year. I spent that year full of discouragement and sadness. We were spared that heartache this time around and I'm so grateful. "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him." Psalm 127:3

  Our joy quickly turned to fear a week after finding out about the little peanut when I started spotting. My doctor had me come in for an ultrasound to make sure all was okay and to date the pregnancy. The ultrasound found nothing but an empty uterus. We were told it was one of three things: an ectopic pregnancy that would have to be removed, an abnormal pregnancy headed for miscarriage, or an early pregnancy that would not show up on ultrasound yet. I was sent to the lab for bloodwork on that Friday afternoon with a follow up lab Monday morning. I was told if my hcg levels doubled the pregnancy was viable, if they didn't we would discuss "options". I knew that I needed someone to intercede for me in prayer. I asked a small group of friends to hit their knees for me and boy did they ever. These women spent that weekend speaking life and scripture over my child and sending me the most beautiful and encouraging emails (all of which I'm including in this baby's baby book). I received the call from my doctor at 11:00 Monday morning that my levels had doubled and they would like me back for another ultrasound a week later. It was a long week but worth the wait when we finally got to see him/her and that precious flicker of a heartbeat.

  As of today I am 13 weeks 4 days and at my appointment this morning we were able to hear the little person's heartbeat on the doppler. A perfect 162 beats per minute! *Side note: before anybody wants to weigh in on gender related to heartbeat let me say that Jacob's stayed steady in the 160-170 range and Judah's never got above 142, and we truly have no preference about what gender this baby is.* We have received so much encouragement about having children so close together, only one or two people have put their two cents in about us being crazy. The way we see it is that God knew this child would be coming to us before we ever considered having children. We feel blessed and humbled that He would choose us to raise three precious children.

  So that's it for my first post. If you stuck it out this far, thank you and I promise the next one won't take an hour to read!